Dr. Maggi: Host and Blogger for the Aunting Community

My niece Marie woke one morning to find her mother lying on the floor, comatose. Her mother never came out of that sudden coma and eventually passed away. As our family stirred to action, I realized that I was in a unique position to provide support. I am an aunt to Marie and her older sister, Lynn—the daughters of my brother, Bill.

Marie and Lynn stayed with me for a month the following summer. I had of course spent time with my brother's family over the years, but this was my first extended visit with my nieces alone. We picked apples and made pies; we weeded the garden together; I took them to their first professional play, The Producers, at the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC. And as I drove home from taking them to the airport at the end of our month together, I realized that I did not want to return to an empty house. I stopped to visit a friend rather than head straight home to the silence the girls left in their wake.

I'm the oldest of five siblings and have no children of my own. My brothers and I have been through the happiness of marriages and raising the next generation of children, whether directly or, in my case, as an aunt. We have experienced the sadness of breakups and death. As a family we have faced both the ups and downs life has to offer.

In 1984, my oldest brother, Jim, moved to Colorado with his three young children; I had moved to Colorado a year earlier. I became a regularly practicing aunt then. I spent holidays with Jim's family. I attended the kids' plays and high school graduations, and even a Little League game or two. Family by geographic proximity.

As Jim's kids grew up, I spent more time with my younger nieces. I visited Bill's daughters a few times a year, whenever I was in the San Francisco Bay Area on business. I always added an extra day to my trips so I could spend an evening at their house in their youngest daughter's bed, the floor wall to wall with toys and clothes. I took my nieces to small ethnic restaurants—Thai, Vietnamese, Japanese and Indian—to show them the world. And, of course, our bond took on new importance after their mother died and they came to live with me for a summer.

Fred, my middle brother, has four daughters and a step-daughter, whom he has adopted. I have not had the chance to spend as much time with these girls as I'd like, though one will be spending the summer with me during her upcoming internship at George Washington University. Similarly, distance has made it difficult to spend a lot of face-time with the two daughters of my half-brother, Carter. But all of my nieces are always in my thoughts, and I constantly look for ways to be a good long-distance aunt.

Over the years, I have been blessed to become Aunt Maggi to twelve nieces in all—twelve incredible, beautiful, unique girls from six to thirty years of age—and even more blessed to have time and love to share with them. I have also recently become Great Aunt Maggi to a toddler and an infant.

My nieces each come in and go out of my life in cycles as they grow up, move around, and change boyfriend or husband status. But they all know that, no matter what, Aunt Maggi always has time for them.